:: Your Words ::

They can be wonderful and inspiring,
The pure wisdom from the Gods...
Or they can reach towards my heart,
Take it and feed it to the dogs.

They can crawl into my mind,
Making me lose sense of what I do
And then they ache inside of me,
A pain I will never get used to.

A sharp blade that cuts my throat,
Arrows that pierce into my skin,
Snakes who swallow my every thought,
Reminding me of you, my biggest sin.

Spears trespassing into my limbs,
Turning them completely numb...
No sigh of life inside of me,
All you turned me into is undone.

But still, compell my every breath,
Suck me dry with all these tears,
Burn and boil all of my blood,
Bring me back old scars and fears.

Because everything you say,
And everything you might do,
Anything is as unbearable
As the silence you put me through.

:: Scars ::

I'm terrified of what's inside,
I've been hiding it from you...
Coz I rather hurt myself with lies
Than to hurt you with the truth.

I could scream without sound
And you could always hear me up,
Some days might get me down
But you can always get me up

You've helped me out so many times
And you've only seen the bad in me.
With you I can never find myself,
And with me you can never be free

I left myself behind again,
Somewhere along the way.
Hoping to comenback
And find myself someday

I guess it's time for me to let go now.
Move on and cherish these memories...
I don't want anyone to replace them,
So I'll lock my heart with several keys

There's so much I wish to tell you,
Show a part of me I haven't shown,
But you're better of without me,
So I will be okay on my own...

The emotional scars you left me
Are the most beautiful lasting marks
I'll draw an heart around them
And make them spark amoung the dark

Still, after all these things,
One thing I will garantee,
I'll always be here for you.
You will NEVER lose me...

I shall protect you from what I can,
Shield you out from all world's harm.
Rest in my arms, mend all wounds...
Your cold heart I'll try to keep warm

:: Home ::

I am wasting my words ... They don't understand
Why I hate it here, why I want to go to Finland.
All I've seen was dreams getting buried by sand,
So now, it's time to start over again in Lapland.

I am serious but still, they are making fun of me,
They don't believe I'm going, but soon I will be free.
FREE, as soon as I get on the plane and go home ...
As soon as I find my place ... Somewhere I belong ...

Well, I don't care about what everyone says ...
Two years left! I'm already counting the days.
And I am getting out of here ... I am going home.
I'll be fine! And I am gonna make it on my own ...

I know I will start a new wonderful life with joy,
I won't be just a weird, silly girl or anyone's toy.
And I am gonna get rid of my e-mail and phone,
I'll delete my past, because I am going home ...

I know I have nothing there waiting for me,
But still, I have even less if I just stay here.
Here in Portugal, I've never been so alone,
So now, I guess it's time for me to go home ...

My love. He's more than enough. My reason to stay ...
But I'm getting out of here ... Maybe I'll be okay.
Because I know I will be far away ... I'll be home ...
And if this dream turns into water, then let me drown.

And because I'm sure I'm right, I will prove them wrong.
I'll make them swallow their words and their dirty tongue.
This is not my life at all ... I will explore the unknown,
The nature, the northern lights ... I'm on my way home ...

And as soon as I get home,
I will no longer be alone ...
I'll be with me, myself and I.
So before I forget, let me say goodbye.

:: Goodbye Frienemy ::

It took me all this time,
But now I can finally see
What I mean to you and
What you think about me.

I thought you were my friend
But seems I was totally wrong.
Choke on your explanations...
I believed you for far too long.

Wasn't this what you wanted???
Aren't you happy then? You won.
You're sorry?? It's too late now.
Forget it, I am already gone...

You are shallow, empty, fake...
You're nothing but a big jerk.
While spreading shit about me,
You just looked at me and smirk.

Did you really thought
I would never find out??
At least now I'm sure of
What you are all about...

What about being yourself?
Damn! Is it so much to ask?
I know everything you said,
So drop your friendly mask.

I'm not buying that bullshit...
It's enough!!! Not anymore...
So you should shut the fuck up
Unless you want to start a war.

After everything I did for you,
You just stabed me in the back!
Nobody told me... I have heard.
So stop pretending, stupid slack!

My friendship is priceless ...
You just enjoyed it for free,
But now you'll pay the price
And that price is losing me...

Save your words. Don't explain,
I won't believe anything you say.
After this I will never forgive you
And I know that you would lie anyway.

:: Hope And Friendship ::

Awwws... My friend, my dear,
What is that I see in your eye?
Are you crying? Is that a tear?
So much anger. Just tell me why.
Let it all come out, let me hear
What's bothering you. Don't be shy.
Let your frustration desappear...
Don't be sad, I hate to see you cry.

Are you thinking about suicide?
Nobody knows when we will die...
That is just for God to decide...
Not for you... Not for any guy...

And I know that it burns inside,
'cause you think you live in a lie
But if you say that you are alone
Then tell me, what the hell am I???

I'm here for you and I will never leave,
You know that all I'm saying it's true...
So in every spoken word you must believe,
I will be forever here, just to be with you.

You don't want to be your own murderer,
So face your problems... And don't run...
For every question there's always an answer,
So come with me... and drop your gun...
There is no reason for you to suffer...
Think about the good times, the fun.
And when you feel your life is over,
I'll remind you that it has just begun...

If you're falling I'll give you my hand,
And no matter what, I'll never let go.
Say what's happening, I'll understand.
I will help you rise when you are low...

Colours fade away, but so does black and white...
Don't worry, every wound just heals with time...
So just stay alive and don't give up the fight...
With hope and dreams, everything will be fine...

Because, even during the blackest nigh,
There's always the moon shining bright.
So, when in the darkness, follow the light
And you'll see everything will be alright...

:: Who I Am ::

What is this feeling that consumes my heart?
Will it ever end ...? When did it even start ...?
Why is this a feeling I cannot explain ...???
What's the reason for which only brings me pain?
Is this some sickness that might soon pass??
It seems more like an agony that forever will last.

... I have no answer ... I have no clue ...
I only know this feeling is alive for you!

Oh, this strange feelings that I once knew
Are getting stronger and stronger, but that’s nothing new.
Is this love ... magic ... my mind ... a dream?
Is this real or not ...? Are things what they seem ...?

My heart was dead and should have kept that way ...
Oh my God, release me ... Send this thing away ...!!!

I’m finishing this poem and you’re still stuck in my head ...
Inside my heart I know you'll never love me ... I'm so sad ...
One minute within my mind and you’d feel everything’s wrong,
Because it seems days, weeks, years ... damn it takes so long ...
Now you must be thinking “This girl is crazy! It must be!” ...
Maybe you’re right, maybe you’re wrong!! But you don’t know me.

The more I try to look away, the more I stop and stare
Deep inside knowing I’m broken hearted and you don’t care.

Now that I look back at what I wrote ... Maybe I am just a freak ...
But I don’t care ‘cause this me and this is the only way I can speak.
So remember everything I wrote ... I made it so you all could see
Who I am, who I’ll be, and the beast that resides inside of me ...

After all these words I think and know you might not understand ...
I don’t blame you for that, because I don’t even know who I am ...

:: Numbers of my Life ::

14th February is here, I have no Valentine...
19 years alone, oh, this poor heart of mine...
It all started in 1991, my birth, 23th January.
Date I'd like to forget, but I'm forced to carry.

1st April of 2007 is a date I'll never forget,
I talked with the best person I have ever met.
Someone that can make me happy, numb and sad,
Someone I love so much that it makes me mad.

0 guys I had a crush on, 2 guys I truly loved...
1 was far away in presence, other away in soul.
Oh, silly me. I really thought he was the one...
He didn't took care of me, he turned me undone.

That crushing love I felt for those two
They were two different kinds of "love"
One was The One I'd like to spend my life with
The other was like a brother, but nothing beyond

1st December 2009. 1st day I haven't felt alone.
It was actally the only day I ever felt at home...
26th December and 22 January, worst days of my life
My heart got crushed and my hope stabed with a knife.

There are still some good and bad memories in between.
Well, mostly are bad and the good ones won't be seen.
Long 19 years of my life and that's all I can remember,
Bitter memories and things that my thoughts smother...

I still love him so much, and I know, forever will.
It hurts so much to know these wounds will never heal.
He is everything I wish. Like him there is no other one...
Oh, sorry for all this...! Happy Valentine's day everyone.

:: Makes no Sense ::

I'm getting bored with so much fun,
Brave and confident in all my fear,
Going blind for staring at the sun,
Letting all my frustration desappear...

Now, at the bright side of the darkness,
I shout with a golden voice of silence,
Inside this fortress, I'm now an actress
Trying to get closer from the distance...

The world is my stage, my mind is a script,
But it's all messed up, every word just slipped.
I'm so confused with all this certainty,
I ended up defeated in all my victory...

That happy unhappiness that I once felt,
Is now a wonderful joy, there is no shame,
That cold heart of yours, my thoughts melt,
Everything changes back to the same...

Questions and questions are left unanswered,
Puzzles and crosswords without any clue,
With every word that is spoken I get tortured,
Is there any kind of feeling inside of you???

Oh, this impatient calm that I feel,
You don't care, you don't understand...
Well no one does and no one will,
You run unstead giving me your hand.

Will you ever love me?
(For what I am and not what I might be)
Will I ever forget you?
(Forget all lies and recreate the truth)

I welcome you to my head,
To the mother of all lies,
To a place where patience is dead,
To a place where all sense dies...

:: What I Know ::

I don't know who I am,
I don't know what I feel,
I don't know what is nice,
I don't know what is real,

I don't know what is right,
I don't know what is wrong,
I don't know what to write,
I don't know where I belong,

I don't know what to say,
I don't know how to speak,
I don't know where to stay,
I don't know what I seek,

I don't know how to react,
I don't know what to choose,
I don't know what to believe in,
I don't know what I might lose,

I don't know what to think,
I don't know what to show,
I don't know what to win,
I don't know when to let go,

I don't know when I'm hurt,
I don't know when I'm seen,
I don't know how I breathe,
I don't know where I've been,

I never knew what is new;
I never knew when I fall;
I never knew what to do;
I never knew anything at all...

I know that I care for him;
I am sure that I want him;
He helps me rise when I'm low...
He is the only truth I know...

:: Memórias do Mundo que Perdi ::

Nestes dias, o que me vai na alma tentei escrever,
Mas, por mais que tente, não há como o descrever.
Parece que toda a alegria se tornou em tristeza,
Quanto mais escondo, mais revelo a minha fraqueza.
Como pude eu, a tal ponto, me iludir, me enganar?
Como podería este sonho, a minha realidade amar?

Sempre fui lider e por ti passei a ser seguidor,
Rebaixei-me a esse ponto para buscar em ti amor.
Mas mesmo assim em mim sempre procuraste mudança,
Nunca fui o que querias, mas mantive a esperança.

Os meus lábios procuram os teus. Chamam, gritam por ti.
Disse-te que estava bem assim, mas é obvio que menti,
Pois a minha pele branca e gelada procura o teu calor.
Gostaste de mim? Representaste? Se sim, foste bom actor.

Estou desalojada...
Os teus braços eram o meu abrigo...
Estou amaldiçoada...
Viver sem o teu amor é um castigo...
Não consigo respirar...
Tu és aquilo que respiro, o meu ar...
Não consigo falar...
Preciso de ti, sinto-me a afundar...

Quería tanto dedicar-te a última música que escrevi,
E vou percorrendo as teclas do piano a pensar em ti,
Mas entretanto, todas as palavras me morrem nos lábios
E sinto-me a maior ignorante neste mundo de sábios...

Deixas-me muda, vestida num manto de silêncio perpétuo,
Com desejos adormecidos de que o sentimento seja mútuo.
As memórias de que te perdi assombram os meus sonhos,
Passo noites em branco com as lágrimas nos olhos...

Quero-te para mim, muito mais do que apenas um amigo...
Tentei seguir em frente, mas simplesmente não consigo.
A memória do que poderíamos vir a ser grita mais alto,
Deixaste-me á beira de um abismo, a caminho de um salto.

Queria seguir a minha vida, fugir para bem longe daqui,
Mas algo me prende, algo não me deixa afastar de ti...
Quero desistir... Mas em mim algo quer continuar a lutar.
Sei que sem ti, para sempre, a solidão voltarei a enfrentar.

Isto é o que sai de mim, muito mais ainda fica no coração.
Se nada significo para ti, estas palavras não te comoverão.

És um código que tento e não consigo decifrar...
És aquele que não deixo de admirar e de amar...
Ès um sentimento tão forte que chega a ser pecado,
És o fruto proibido, nascido no romance inacabado,
És tudo aquilo que perdi sem nunca o chegar a ter,
És uma dádiva, um sonho que nunca irei esquecer...

:: Únicos ... Tão Sós ::

Olha para mim. Quero contemplar o teu rosto.
Não, volta, por favor. Não te tentes esconder.
Chora e partilha comigo esse grande desgosto
Que te perturba que te insiste em corroer...

Não me tentes iludir com essa máscara de calma,
Eu sinto a angustia que transborda da tua alma
e percorre palavras saídas da tua perfeita boca,
Desabafa agora comigo tudo aquilo que te sufoca.

Tu mereces alguém que te ouça e que te compreenda...
Não te rebaixes por quem não te quer e que te ofenda.
Não foste tu que a perdeste, foi ela que te perdeu,
Quando se aperceber disso, já o que sentes morreu.

Foste a única pessoa ao qual chamei perfeição,
Pois tens sonhos, sentimentos, beleza e coração.
Foste como morfina, que a minha dor adormeceu,
Já chorei no teu ombro, chora agora tu no meu.

Esses teus belos olhos não merecem essa tristeza,
Vamos ambos escrever para libertar esta fraqueza.
A musica sempre nos acariciou com a sua melodia,
E apenas ela basta para nos servir de companhia...

Já me perguntaste o que me levou a duvidar do "amor",
Respondi-te que na vida o "amor" contém incluida a dor.
Só somos desejados quando somos impossiveis de alcançar,
Quando lhes entregamos o coração, já eles nos estão a largar.

Mas eu não me importo. Pois desta experiência renasci.
Faz o mesmo que eu, não escondas o que está dentro de ti,
Diz o que tens a dizer, não penses nas consequências,
Se não faz sentido, deixa-os a pensar nas incoerências.

Lembraste de quando eramos donos do nosso mundo,
E abdicamos de tudo por um sentimento profundo?
O que fizeram eles quanto a isso? Ignoraram-nos.
"Amor"? Existe? Se sim, só nós é que o sentimos.

Tudo gira á volta de dinheiro, interesse e sexo.
É culpa desta sociedade e isto é o seu reflexo...
Eles foram uma mancha no nosso mundo colorido,
Brincaram connosco. Mas deixa, o karma é fodido.

Estes jogos, desilusões e a mágoa já nos começam a fartar,
Deixa-os em paz, se nos quiserem, eles que nos venham buscar.
Desperdiçaram a opurtunidade deles, esses atrasados mentais.
O mundo dá muitas voltas, quando voltarem pode ser tarde demais.